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His ma gn eti c no rth , w hat ev er it w as, ha d va nis he d, an d he fo un d hi ms elf los t. Lo nel y, an d de sp er ate for a poi nt of ref er en ce, he ha d tak en to an y dir ect ion s tha t he co uld fin d; an d it jus t so ha pp en ed tha t pe opl e like me w er e thr o wi ng pe rfe ctl y go od gui da nc e a w ay ev er y da y. Su re, at fir st it ce rtai nly se em s fo oli sh for pe opl e like yo u an d I to dic tat e ou r liv es ba se d on ins tru cti on s to a bo x of Ad vil. Ne ve rth ele ss, on e w oul d be ha rd- pr es se d to fin d an ar gu me nt wit h Th e sm all est eff ect ive am ou nt sh oul d be us ed, an d Do not ex ce ed six in 24 ho ur s. Th es e les so ns, I bel iev e, sh oul d act ual ly be ap pli ed to all thi ng s: sli ce s of piz za, se xu al pa rtn er s, w his kie s, an d, ye s, pill s. Ye ar s of gat he rin g mo rs els of wi sd om like the se mu st ha ve ma de thi s ge ntl em an the mo st pr ep ar ed ma n on ea rth . He w as not du sti ng off bo xe s, he w as pol ish ing his co mp as se s; ru bbi ng the m as del ica tel y an d pr eci sel y as Ma gel lan w oul d ha ve on the fir st da y of his vo ya ge.
Lo oki ng ba ck at my tab le I not ice d tha t my pr es ent co mp an y ha d the ir dir ect ion s wit h the m as w ell. Do n ha d Th e Ne w Yo rk Ti me s, w hil e Kri sti n an d Em ily ha d ma nil a fol de rs an d hig hli ght ed dir ect ion s ne atl y co ve re d wit h sp eci al not ati on s an d pe rs on ali ze d sy mb ols —t he w ar nin g sig ns of go -g ett er s. Ka the rin e ha d onl y he r ra p. I w oul d ha ve like d to thi nk tha t sh e ha d an oth er ma p to plo t he r life by, pe rh ap s a w ar m fri en d to tra vel wit h or a so n w ho pla ye d ca rd s wit h he r. Bu t, it w as cle ar fro m its wr inkl es an d co ffe e mu g rin gs tha t the ra p w as he r onl y gui de. He r co py w as co ve re d in re d ink . Sh e mu st ha ve re ev alu ate d it fro m tim e to tim e, yet , in the en d, w oul d al w ay s co me ba ck to thi s glo om y, agi ng pa pe r ho pin g to us e it to ple as e Do n. Re fu sin g to let he r foll o w onl y the se dir ect ion s, I ge ntl y sli pp ed the ra p off the tab le an d int o my lap , sq uin tin g my ey es to su gg est ca ref ul att ent ion to its be aut iful det ail. I pul led a pe n fro m my po ck et an d qui etl y wr ote , "Y ou ar e a ve ry nic e pe rs on, an d no bo dy giv es a fu ck ho w yo u sa y yo ur na me ." I fol de d up Ka the rin e's ra p an d sm oot hly sli pp ed it ba ck int o he r po ck etb oo k. Th e ne xt tim e sh e un fol de d it I ho pe d tha t my dir ect ion s w oul d sh ed lig ht on a ne w pat h for he r, lea din g he r to a pla ce w he re pri de isn 't fei gn ed.
As w e sto od to lea ve, I ca ug ht sig ht of the ho me les s ma n an d his cu rre nt sh re d of bo x. He w as fa w nin g ov er the ins tru cti on s to a cal lin g ca rd wr itte n in Sp ani sh. Wr itte n ac ro ss the top in bri ght yel lo w w as Lla ma da tu fa mili a ah or a! "C all yo ur fa mil y no w! " It se em ed like a pr ett y go od dir ect ion . I pul led out my ph on e, the n I qui t.

His magnetic north, whatever it was, had vanished, and he found himself lost. Lonely, and desperate for a point of reference, he had taken to any directions that he could find; and it just so happened that people like me were throwing perfectly good guidance away every day. Sure, at first it certainly seems foolish for people like you and I to dictate our lives based on instructions to a box of Advil. Nevertheless, one would be hard-pressed to find an argument with "the smallest effective amount should be used" and "do not exceed six in 24 hours." These lessons, I believe, should actually be applied to all things: slices of pizza, sexual partners, whiskies, and, yes, pills. Years of gathering morsels of wisdom like these must have made this gentleman the most prepared man on earth. He was not dusting off boxes, he was polishing his compasses; rubbing them as delicately and precisely as Magellan would have on the first day of his voyage.
Looking back at my table I noticed that my present company had their directions with them as well. Don had "The New York Times," while Kristin and Emily had manila folders and highlighted directions neatly covered with special notations and personalized symbols—the warning signs of go-getters. Katherine had only her rap. I would have liked to think that she had another map to plot her life by, perhaps a warm friend to travel with or a son who played cards with her. But, it was clear from its wrinkles and coffee mug rings that the rap was her only guide. Her copy was covered in red ink. She must have reevaluated it from time to time, yet, in the end, would always come back to this gloomy, aging paper hoping to use it to please Don. Refusing to let her follow only these directions, I gently slipped the rap off the table and into my lap, squinting my eyes to suggest careful attention to its beautiful detail. I pulled a pen from my pocket and quietly wrote, "You are a very nice person, and nobody gives a fuck how you say your name." I folded up Katherine's rap and smoothly slipped it back into her pocketbook. The next time she unfolded it I hoped that my directions would shed light on a new path for her, leading her to a place where pride isn't feigned.
As we stood to leave, I caught sight of the homeless man and his current shred of box. He was fawning over the instructions to a calling card written in Spanish. Written across the top in bright yellow was Llamada tu familia ahora! "Call your family now!" It seemed like a pretty good direction. I pulled out my phone, then I quit.